Posts Tagged ‘Police’

A new police strategy to target anti-social behaviour has been announced in Devon. Community police, fed up with the constant stream of drunk-and-disorderly youths are hitting back hard – with flip flops.

It is hoped that the flip-flops will get drunks off the streets faster, as it expected it will be easier for them to stagger home in plastic beachwear than in shoes.

It is not clear how the police plan to tackle the next obstacle to their flip-flop scheme: tights.


Read Full Post »

Police officers in Cambridge are to be equipped with whistles once more to tackle the ever increasing problem of anti-social cyclists.

It is hoped that the comeback of the police whistle will both deter cyclists from being anti-social (perhaps by encouraging them to join a book group), as well as fit in with this season’s retro fashion trend. After all, police officers have been wearing the same uniform for years; it’s time to update the look.

It is thought that the idea first came about when members of the Cambridge police force tried remembering when they last had local cyclists under control. Apparently it was when they had whistles.

It is not quite clear why whistles are so effective against young cyclists, yet seemingly uneffective against young people on foot wearing hoodies. It is thought that the high-pitched screech of the whistle distracts the cyclist, causing him to wobble and then fall off. It is hoped that footage of local wobbling cyclists will soon appear on YouTube for the enjoyment of all.

Read Full Post »

Police officers have been criticised by their superiors for being rude this week; recent research has revealed that the public find criminals much more polite.  Police officers have been advised to think carefully before they speak next time. 


British police officers are typically taught three key phrases to use when dealing with the public; Ello, ello, ello, What’s all this then? and Evenin’ all.  However there are some situations where none of these apply and police officers have been forced to improvise, leading to protests of rudeness.    


The criminal fraternity has backed this claim, with one burglar recorded as being ‘deeply hurt’ by a recent barb.  His accomplice stated that ‘he hasn’t been able to work properly since’. 


Another suggestion has been that police cadets receive etiquette training in the correct manner of dealing with criminals.  For example, making sure hoodies are using the right sort of knife and holding the door open for burglars. 

Read Full Post »