Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

Quelle Fromage!

Cheese can often bring out the worst in people. It is smelly, it is mouldy and it is full of cholesterol. But now cheese has driven one individual to crime.

One Glasgow man’s love of cheese was so mature that he ordered thousands of pounds worth of the stuff in order to commit a cheese-related fraud.

Cheese has long been thought to have mind-altering properties. It is commonly known to induce nightmares when eaten late at night and when melted on toast, cheese can psychically influence others to make more of it.

This is the most recent and serious case of cheese addiction leading to crime; rumours of an accomplice ordering large amounts of chutney in Aberdeen have been unconfirmed.


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 The Marine Conservation Society released a new list of ‘Fish to Avoid’ this week.  The list contained the most notorious and dangerous fish that the public should stay away from if they value their safety.

It hasn’t been an easy list to compile.  Many informants are reluctant to go on the record and witnesses just shut up like clams.


At the top of the ‘Fish to Avoid’ list was the Anchovy, a creature well known to Interpol and international crime syndicates across the globe.  The Anchovy expects undivided loyalty or else – You can love them or hate them, but if you hate them you might just end up on the ocean floor.


Another fish to avoid during a late night swim is the Eel.  The Eels reputation is notorious, particularly in the East End of London, where he is known to be a slippery customer.


The humble Cod, often thought to be a benign and friendly fish is possibly the most dangerous of all, and must be avoided at all cost.  Experts warn that anyone who doesn’t heed the danger is at risk of a battering.

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